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Entries for the ‘humor’ Category
Beware of the next fire drill!
A fire alarm rang at 4 pm in a large office campus when almost all employees were present ( approx 5,000 people ). As per past fire-drill practices, the entire office was quickly evacuated within 3 minutes, and all employees gathered outside the complex in designated areas waiting for further announcement. Before long, the fire […]
With Age Comes Wisdom
A guy is 70 years old and loves to fish. He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, ‘Pick me up.’ He looked around and couldn’t see any one. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say a gain,’Pick me up.’ He looked in the […]
Best Out-of-Office Replies
1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood. 2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all. 3. I […]
Twenty Dollars
On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed. This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to […]
Scott Adams Blog: Where’s My Rewind Button? 01/22/2009
Watching television still isn’t as good as real life, at least on average, but that gap is narrowing from both sides. Real life is getting worse while the quality of television continues to improve. Case in point, have you taken your car to the dealer for servicing during the current economic downturn? If so, I […]
Funny: Worst Apartment Rental Ad Ever
Date: 2008-12-19, 6:05PM PST I am a born again Christian. Why is this a problem for people????! I have a house that’s MINE and I PAID FOR IT. I also have a basement apartment for rent. It’s a great space [and] I’m charging very little for it, $480 monthly, for the right tenant. I know […]
Parrot Joke
John received a parrot as an early Christmas gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else […]
